Thursday, March 13, 2008

“Never pick a fight with a man who buys his ink by the barrel.”

Mark Twain

The fight is over
whether or not the leadership of the APS
will
ever be impartially audited.

When I picked a fight with
Thomas J Lang, Mary Lynn Roper, and Michelle Donaldson

I picked a fight with people,
who have a lot more readers and listeners than I do.

That would put them at a distinct advantage
if only their side could actually be
printed in the paper
or
shown on the 10 o'clock news.

The argument against the audit is unprintable.
It cannot be shown on the news.

I have put my
argument at no risk by picking a fight with
wo/men who buy their ink by the barrel;

their position is indefensible; and can only be hidden.

And all of the ink and watts in the world, are of no use.

None the less, their side prevails.
Ironically, not because they have all the ink;

but because I have relatively none.



The readers of the Albuquerque Journal will not discuss
an administrative accountability audit for the APS.

Nor will the viewers of
KRQE, KOAT, or KOB.

Nor will the listeners to the
Jim Villanucci Show
on
KKOB radio.

Without public discussion, there will never be an audit.

They will win.

How can the battle between good and evil, ever be "someone else's fight." ? ??

Any answer except yes, is no.

APS Superintendent,
Winston Brooks,

Are you just another good ol' boy, come to
Albuquerque for a few years in the sunny southwest?

signed,
a concerned stakeholder.



There are four possible responses.

1. He could answer yes.
And there would be nothing that even the media
could do to save his job in the APS.

2. He could suggest an ethical challenge to the question;
the expectation that it be answered yes or no only
may ethically indefensible. Wording or what ever,
made it unfair to pose the question as asked.

In which case the wording is negotiated.

The rub here, in order to negotiate
the wording of the question; you kind of have to admit
that you heard the question.

At which point the corrupt and the incompetent
in the leadership of the APS are pretty much screwed.

Their continued exception to accountability depends
on their keeping the truth from stakeholders.

Once Pandora's Box is opened, by admitting that
they heard the question,
there is no turning back.

Sooner or later they are going to have to come up with
a good and ethical reason not to have an audit.

And since there simply isn't one,
they are at that point going to be audited and held
accountable and there is no way that even

Thomas Lang, Mary Lynn Roper,
and
Michelle Donaldson


are ever going to be able to put Humpty
back together again.

3. He could say no.
The rub here, you can't just say you aren't
a good ol' boy; you have to prove it.

It can be easily proved, simply
by pulling the plug on the other good ol' boys;

It can be easily proved, beyond any reasonable doubt,

by beginning an impartial accountability audit.
4. He will offer no response at all...
Stonewalling is exactly the same thing as
answering the question yes;

but without the loosing your job part.

Everything that is "institutionally" wrong with the APS

will be exposed by
an impartial administrative accountability audit.

And the only reason that Paula Maes and the good ol' boys
will not conduct one;

is because it would cost them their reputations, their jobs,
and maybe their personal freedom to walk about
for a few years.


... figure me; so what?



I say again;
everything that is institutionally wrong with the APS
would be exposed by a competent audit.

Winston Brooks
would have everything he needs
to end waste in the APS; waste caused by incompetence,
corruption, and the institutional practices that enable them.

There is no down side to an audit.


If Winston Brooks really wants to earn
the trust and confidence of APS stakeholders;

he can gain both,
the instant he shows them a clean audit.

I feel so strongly about this, that
had I been elected to the board, and
were I now negotiating his contract;

his current employment would hinge on his commitment
to begin immediately the first full scale forensic audit
of the administration of the Albuquerque Public Schools
in its whole good ol' history;

and his future employment would hinge on the results
of the second annual administrative audit of the APS.


If you catch my drift.

the ethically redacted truth

can be expressed in math that even a third grader can understand.


the whole truth
_

the truth that the law absolutely requires redacting
____________________________________

= the ethically redacted truth



the "legally" redacted truth can be expressed in math that only a lawyer would admit to understand.

the whole truth
_
every scrap of evidence that can be hidden through years and millions of "education" dollars worth of litigation against the public interest

litigation whose soul (sic) purpose was to except the good ol' boys in the leadership of the APS from accountability even to lowest standard of humanly acceptable conduct; the law.
____________________________________________
= the "legally" redacted truth.



Here is the truth that I would like you to understand,
and then act upon.


the legally redacted truth is the ONLY truth you know
about the the good ol' boys who "lead" the public schools;

and who "lead" fifteen thousand employees,

and who "lead" 89,000 of our sons and daughters

and who spend a billion of your tax dollars every year.


They hired no less than a local media legend
APS Executive Director of Communications,
and poster nazi,
(part time and as needed)

Monica Armenta,
to try to spin it into stakeholder speak.

So far, no luck. All she has to offer is no comment.

Please notice that I did not write "no comment"
which would imply that the official position
of the "leadership" of the Albuquerque Public Schools,
the Board of Education, and the Administration,
and Modrall
as expressed by and through their official spokesperson
Monica Armenta

is to acknowledge the question and respond on the record by
saying "no comment."

which is not the same thing as making no comment at all;

not even a superfluous "no comment"

just no comment.

taxpayers are paying her (more than they pay three teachers)
to stonewall.


You can't spin no comment. You can't spin stonewalling.
The taxpayers here are getting zero bang
for their hard earned buck.

PS
... which violates the student standard of conduct;
and yada yada yada ...

PPS
... Thomas J Lang, Mary Lynn Roper and
Michelle Donaldson
are not even serving stakeholders the
whole "legally" redacted truth.

Worse still, they would have you believe that
they are telling you the ethically redacted truth;
and yada yada yada ...

PPS
... and I don't know how much longer I can do this alone;
and yada yada yada ...

Read Monahan this morning, it made me sick.

Wilson - Pearce

link

"... Wilson is expected to start unloading on Pearce. ...
... many cling to the slim hope that
one of the contenders will bow out,
saving the party from bloody, internecine war fare."

"There is still hope that the Wilson-Pearce duel doesn't
go nuclear.
... signs point to a negative campaign.
... a fusillade of 30 second TV spots in which
two sitting Republican members of Congress wage war."
Not that Wilson is listening, but if I had my druthers;

Wilson and Pearce would get together as often as possible and allow stakeholders to watch them carry on civil discussions about the issues; candidly, forthrightly, honestly.
under "rules" whose purpose is to enlighten stakeholders.

It is interesting to me, that
despite the overwhelming damage done to candidates,
and despite the overwhelming damage done to
stakeholders' faith, and trust, and confidence in
their "governors", and in their governments;
candidates still resort to negative campaigning
instead of civil discussion.

Clearly whatever their position is on the issues,

it cannot survive civil discussion.

It cannot survive follow up questions.

"Trust that wo/man in nothing
who does not take follow up questions." unk derived

A candidate who welcomes public discussion of issues
does so in manifest respect for stakeholder rights to
participate meaningfully in decisions that affect them.

A candidate's use of the negative campaign smoke screen
to hide their indefensible positions on issues

is prima facie proof wiki link

they have no respect, not even in its smallest measure. *
for stakeholders right to know and understand the truth;

Why in the world would anyone then vote for them?

Yet they will tell you that
negative campaigning will "get them elected",

which is of course what it is really all about.



It surprises me that
the Wilson/Pearce battle is the illustrative example of
negative campaigns in our future.

Darren White is going to have to wage a war of
negative campaigning of unprecedented proportion
to keep one of his opponents sitting around a round table

from asking him to explain, defend or even acknowledge
his role in APS' Peanut Butter Gate scandal;
the public corruption and criminal conspiracy
surrounding the felony criminal misuse of
a super sophisticated and secure
criminal data base entrusted by the FBI
to Darren White for "safe keeping".

The whole truth about which is being hidden still by

Paula Maes and the Modrall

Bernalillo County District Attorney Kari Brandenburg

Bernalillo County Sheriff Darren White


Thomas J Lang

Mary Lynn Roper

Michelle Donaldson, and

the still unidentified person at radio station KKOB
who stands between the Jim Villanucci show
and the complete and utter obliteration
of the good ol' boys club that runs
the Albuquerque Public Schools.


*
derived; Drew Barrymore as Cinderella and
in a completely different context.

Jason Call, Calls Winston Brooks on his "homo humor"

Occasionally one runs across a particularly well written
comment on a blog post. The following post was left on
Democracy in New Mexico, link
on a thread regarding Winston Brooks' remark.

Jason Call
is running for a state senate seat. link

As a high school teacher who has worked closely with
HS gay and lesbian kids, in human rights and tolerance
awareness clubs and forums,

one thing is absolutely certain: words hurt.

They hurt so badly that sometimes kids kill themselves.
I've seen it happen.

I have to tell my own students on an almost daily basis
that casual comments about "That's gay"
have meaning beyond what they might intend
("that sucks") - if you want to say" that sucks" then
say just that, but when you say "that's gay"
what you are implying is that "gay = sucks."

Kids can be 'trained' not to say certain things, and
they may not understand why until they are older and
more mature, at which point they'll hopefully make
a conscious decision to alter their language,
but when Brooks makes his statement,
he justifies the undoing of all the things I try to teach
my students to be more understanding of.

The remark; mountain or molehill?


Winston Brooks' stonewalling the issue;

an egregious disregard of his obligation to be a role model
of the Pillars of Character Counts;

... a mountain!


Who in the APS, is going to show children what character
and courage and honor look like?
Who is going to be the role model
that shows students what it looks like
to stand up and accept accountability for one's conduct.


Do we really have to reach back three centuries to find
a story that may not even be true;

about a person that did something wrong, admitted it,
and then accepted the consequences?


You can't just tell kids about heroes,
you have to show them some;

sometimes you have to be one.

Good leaders tolerate accountability;
great leaders demand it.

The leadership of the APS needs it desperately.
The 89,000 of our sons and daughters in the APS
desperately need a role model of their standard of conduct.

Does $273,000 a year not buy us a fit role model?

Winston Brooks,
Show us please; that you have
the courage and the character to be a role model;
enough character and courage in fact, to be the
senior most administrative role model in the APS.



note; it is difficult, at least for me, to cut and post comments and
keep line and paragraph breaks intact.
I've tried to edit accordingly, without changing any words or punctuation.

Fact; Jim Villanucci could end incompetence and corruption in the APS, for ever.

Fair Observation; he has not.

Why?

  • A personal decision not to take on Paula Maes, Modrall, and the good ol' boys in the leadership of the APS, and their good ol' boyfriends in the local media and public service?
  • Or a decision made by one of his bosses, who is a member of the NM Broadcasters Association and under Paula Maes' thumb?
It isn't like we are going to get an answer to the question,
because good ol' boys don't take questions.

And
Villanucci doesn't response to emails.

All
Villanucci has to do to end corruption and incompetence
in the leadership of the APS, is to is lay the subject of
"administrative role modeling" on the table for stakeholders
to gorge upon.

All he has to do is to
kick the ball (a full scale audit of the APS)
onto the field.

Fact; he won't.

Fair observation; Villanucci, based on his record,
is more likely to
want to expose the scandal,
than to be
part the cover up.

Fair supposition; the decision is being made over Jim's
head; by "someone" at
KKOB, who will neither explain,
defend, or even acknowledge their decision.

Typical good ol' boy behavior;
accountability dodging and secrecy.

I will forward this post to
Pat Frisch,
KKOB Programming Director,

and ask him to reveal the name of
the person who's
decision it is, that
KKOB and the Jim Villanucci show,
will be
at least tacit participants in the cover up of
the
ethics and accountability scandal in
the leadership
of the APS.

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Is there one single aps administrator or board member

one single member of the leadership of the aps

who is willing to hold them self honestly accountable to the same standard of conduct that they enforce upon our sons and daughters? almost one hundred thousand of them.

Diogenes looked for such a wo/man for some years
I guess, illuminating his search with one candle power of light.

I, on the other hand have been looking since 1994
with no less powerful a lamp than the internet
and a worldwide web of information.

I have not found a single one

I assume Diogenes' final result was the same.

The temptation of privilege, and
the apparent need to achieve and hold it,

are simply too overwhelming to resist.

All that the $105K APS Executive Director of Communications

and poster nazi, Monica Armenta has to do to shut me up;
is to communicate to stakeholders;

some how,

the http addresses of the meaningful standards of conduct
to which the good ol' boys in the leadership of the APS are
honestly accountable.

and the http addresses of the descriptions of the systems
under which they are held honestly accountable
to those standards; systems that guarantee
the principled resolution* of disputes;

*the student standard of resolution of disputes;

impartial, guided by agreed upon principles,
adjudication skilled in the issues, and in
the governing principles; in this case,
the Pillars of Character Counts.
as opposed to say,

... fist fighting.


And all that APS Maes Modrall has to do to shut me up
is to surrender their public record to public knowledge.

All that Winston Brooks has to do to shut me up

is to saddle up as the senior most administrative role model
of the student standard of conduct;
the Pillars of Character Counts!


And all that
Pete Domenici, Michael Josephson, and Marty Chavez
have to do, to prove that they aren't dead beat

Founding Fathers of Character Counts!
is to intervene some how,
in Paula Maes' rape of their what?
... "foundchild" ?

All Kari Brandenburg has to do to shut me up
is to announce that she is going to prosecute members
of the leadership of the APS and the Bernalillo County
Sheriff's Office;
for the felony criminal abuse of one of
the most sophisticated and secure criminal data bases
entrusted to people like Darren White.

And then resign.

All that Darren White has to do to shut me up
is to surrender an ethically redacted version of the truth
about the criminal abuse of the trust place in him
by the FBI;

and resign as sheriff, and then drop out of the race for NM1.

And this is just the first week
of Winston Brooks Superintendency.



And all the Thomas J Lang, Mary Lynn Roper, and
Michelle Donaldson have to do to shut me up

is to ask these questions and surrender the answers
to public knowledge


rather immediately.

Can you imagine trying to hold Governor Bill Richardson accountable for speeding?

Can you imagine trying to hold Mayor Marty Chavez
accountable for the traffic camera scandal?

Then perhaps you can imagine
how hard it is to hold School Board President Paula Maes
the President of the Character Counts Leadership Council
accountable for betraying the Pillars of Character Counts
and the public trust.

Speaking of Marty Chavez, I saw Paul Broome at one of the
public "input" and "grilling" meetings with Winston Brooks.

Which begs the question; could either Paul Broome
who actually saw my sign,
or Marty Chavez who should have heard about my sign;

pass the Electric Kool-Aid Asshat Test? link

How can you trust someone who you know won't be honest?

Why ? ?? would you trust someone who you know
won't be honest about APS' Character Counts Gate?

  • Pete Domenici
  • Darren White
  • Kari Brandenburg
  • Beth Everitt
  • Linda Sink
  • Paula Maes
  • the Modrall
  • the Albuquerque Public Schools Board of Education
  • the "leadership of the APS" whomever they really are
  • the Journal and Thomas J Lang
  • KRQE, and Michelle Donaldson
  • KOAT, and Mary Lynn Roper
  • KOB, ?????
  • KKOB ?????*



* Jim Villanucci
could end the cycle of perpetual corruption
and incompetence in the leadership of the APS
with nothing more than a vigorous endorsement of the
need for people to start paying attention to what it going on;
and the need for them to attend the next regular board meeting;

even if he doesn't get on board
with the whole torches and pitchforks thing.

Yet, it is fair to say, he is ignoring the possibility.

Either, it is Jim's decision to ignore
the ethics and accountability scandal in the APS;

which honestly doesn't sound like Jim Villanucci.

Or,

the President of the New Mexico Broadcasters Assoc.

Paula Maes casts a big enough shadow to cover even him.



You may notice that you haven't from Larry Barker lately
on the target rich environment of the leadership of the APS.

Not since he did the expose on the APS principals who
violated board policy and state law by deliberately ignoring
state fire code on public school fire drills.

APS Modrall
has produced no record that even one of
those principals was held accountable for their decisions.

I had alleged, and still do, that public records were falsified
to cover up for the non-existent drills.

There are public records of felony perjury by
a senior APS administrator, regarding this specific scandal.

I was paid a very few tens of thousands of
(unwitting taxpayer support of education) dollars
not to give the incontrovertible evidence
to any law enforcement agency for prosecution.

I would suppose that under some ethically unjustifiable
tenet of Juris Mustelidae; this was all "legal"

but it sure as hell violates the
APS Student Standard of Conduct;

the Pillars of Character Counts!


This isn't just about role modeling.

I will bow to controverting fact;

if only there were one.

On my honor, I will post anonymously or otherwise,
any fact in contraction to any allegation that I have
ever made;

uncensored.

Further, and also on my honor,
I will be held honestly accountable for my explanation,
defense, and/or acknowledgment of my error.

Each of the following have an opportunity to defend themselves against my allegations.

You have to be prepared to concede that
they are saying something,
when they are saying nothing.

Stonewalling is absolutely and expressly prohibited by
the APS Student Standard of Conduct;
the Pillars of Character Counts!

Michael Josephson
Pete Domenici
Marty Chavez
Terri Cole
Darren White
Kari Brandenburg
Winston Brooks
Beth Everitt
Leonard DeLayo
Paula Maes
the Modrall Law
Thomas Lang
Mary Lynn Roper
Michelle Donaldson
every board member
every senior administrator
every corrupt and/or incompetent public servant
that the leadership of the APS
has ever excepted from accountability for
their incompetence and their corruption.



Ladies and gentlemen,

the ball is in your court.

Nothing at all in the Journal this morning

about any of the controversies surrounding the leadership
of the APS and their newly appointed superintendent
Winston Brooks.


They are apparently, already

"old news".

If Dick Knipfing Has Knothing to Hide

why will he not disavow, defend, or retract the lie
he told? link

Why won't good ol' boy Thomas J Lang disavow,
defend, or retract the lie he told? link

Why won't APS Superintendent Linda Sink defend or retract, the lie she told? link

Why won't the next APS Superintendent Winston Brooks
defend or apologize for his insult of glbt stakeholders? link

Why why won't Kari Brandenburg surrender public records
of public corruption and criminal conspiracy
in the leadership of the APS and
the Bernalillo County Sheriff's Office? link

Why won't Darren White, who is running for congress,
surrender an ethically redacted version of the public
record of the criminal misuse of a computer data base
on his watch and with at least his tacit approval.

Why won't Michael Josephson, or Pete Domenici, or
Marty Chavez defend the principles of Character Counts!
against Paula Maes Modrall?

The greatest outrage of all thought is that you,

through your generous, but unwitting support of "education"
pay Paula Maes' Modrall lawyers very very well, to use their
Juris Mustelidae, (legal technicalities and legal loopholes),
to litigate this good ol' boys' exception to accountability.

And at a cost to taxpayers in the millions of dollars.

Why won't Thomas J Lang, and
Mary Lynn Roper, and
Michelle Donaldson

permit an investigation and report upon
these many credible allegations?


Because they don't have to.
Because nobody can make them.
Because they are privileged; beyond even the Law.

And you are not.

Individual members of the great unwashed
cannot hold these members of the privileged class
accountable for anything.


except in very large numbers,
carrying torches and pitchforks,
and by storming their castle


at 6400 Uptown Blvd.

Darren White Martin Heinrich Face Off

I clipped these quotes from Joe Monahan's site link

Darren White

My likely Democrat opponent...is opposed to the Terrorist Surveillance Program and has used the issue to drum up support for his candidacy among extreme left-wing groups. He believes that we should not immediately intercept calls from known terrorists and has even gone so far as to attack middle-of-the-road Democrats who support this bipartisan bill. I believe his position on the Terrorist Surveillance Program clearly demonstrates that his views are out-of-step with common-sense New Mexico values.


Martin Heinrich

"...I stand with the American people who say fear mongering is not acceptable. Not acceptable from George Bush, not acceptable from Karl Rove and not acceptable from Darren White. I agree with Bill Richardson that we can keep our country safe without resorting to unconstitutional, warrant less wiretaps. I support a strong FISA that authorizes our intelligence community to intercept the communications of foreign terrorists, not American citizens minding their own business.
I am struck by the fact that in the first,
we find that among his strengths,
Darren White is a mind reader; he is inside Heinrich's mind,
he knows what the man "believes"
deep in his soul.

In the second we find an argument
with which we can take issue, if we wish.

I wish we had a better choice
than the good ol' boys choice;

good ol' boy Darren White.


Beware of those whose efforts to enlighten you
consist of only their version of the facts.

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

The Moment of Truth

I suppose that I am not unusual among men
who have not been in a firefight,
who wonder what they would do in a firefight.

Would I have the courage to return aimed fire?
Or would I hide?

Most men never find out, because they never end up in
a situation that really tests their mettle; not really.

We have have to settle for less demanding tests; and
hope that we pass at least, all of those.

Winston Brooks mettle is to be tested.

Does he have the character and the courage
to be a role model of the character, and of the courage
that we want out children to acquire as they grow up
in the Albuquerque Public Schools?

Does he have the character and the courage to defy
Paula Maes, Modrall and the good ol' boys in the APS,
by putting the issue of administrative role modeling
on the stakeholders table?


Winston Brooks three days in,
and already a pivotal decision to make;

either lead the APS in to a future
free of corruption and incompetence
in an institution where character really does count,

or lead the APS
along the same dismal path of corruption and incompetence;
hiring more and more Monica Armentas to try to cover up
even more scandals and even more failing schools.

There is a correlation between standards
of conduct and competence, and institutional success.

APS is institutionally unsuccessful because it is
a good ol' boys club with no meaningful standards
of conduct or competence; and

no way of holding anybody honestly accountable
for squandering the public trust and treasure.


Winston Brooks,
This is your moment of truth.

You can stand up and return aimed fire at
the corrupt and the incompetent good ol' boys

by putting Character Counts and
the Administrative Accountability Audit
on the table where stakeholders can see them.

Or,


you can join the corrupt and incompetent cowards, and
hide with them behind their pathetic, disgraceful, little wall.


It is hard to imagine a clearer choice.

Or a more fitting test of a quarter of a million dollar a year
superintendent's mettle.

Godspeed, Sir.



Nor can I imagine a more important time for stakeholders
to express their interest in the issues of Character Counts
and Meaningful Standards of conduct and competence
for the public servants who administer the public schools,

Nor a better place
than the next board meeting to see if Winston Brooks
will lay the issues on the table.

If he does, you will then need to stand up to support him.
He will need all of the help he can possibly summon.

If he does not, you will need to stand up to oppose him;
or at least to stand up behind those who do.

This is what Burke was writing about when he wrote;

All that is necessary for evil to prevail in the world
is for good men to do nothing.
You pick a side when you don't pick a side.

If we want our children to grow up to embrace character
and courage and honor,
some one of us is going to have to show them what it looks like.

Every generation expects the next generation,
to be the first generation,
to actually hold itself honestly accountable
to a meaningful standard of conduct.

Every generation tells the next,
the story about George Washington and the cherry tree,
no generation ever shows the next, what it looks like
to stand up and say
I will hold myself honestly accountable
to a meaningful standard of conduct.
Instead we take them with us to the auto parts store to buy
radar detectors and photo opaque license plate covers.



The Pillars of Character Counts! is a nationally recognized,
accepted and respected higher standard of conduct.

It is not too high a standard of conduct for
89,000 of our sons and daughters,

and

it is not too high a standard of conduct for
their senior most administrative role model;

... not for 8 measly hours a day.


wiki link Godspeed

Winston Brooks "homo humor" Fall Out

Recall please, that at first, I just passed this one along
without comment.

And now I think that I have something to offer.

The bottom line appears to be that
Winston Brooks
offended some stakeholders.

period.

If you read their comments, they seem like decent people
expressing reasonable upset. link Certainly nothing
in the most of them, that justifies the forfeiture
of their right to be respected as stakeholders.

If Winston Brooks were actually accountable,
to the same standard of conduct that
he will enforce upon students;


he would be required to either defend his remark,

or simply apologize.

"I understand that I have offended some stakeholders.
I regret it, and I am sorry.
I will try my best not to offend you again, and
I will work even harder to repair your confidence
and respect in me.
Until that time, I am in your debt".
or words to that effect.

At this, his first moment of truth,

he will either reply in words that a child can understand,
as a role model of the student standard of conduct.

or he will respond in the tradition of gob;
the sound made by people hiding behind a stone wall
and saying nothing.


This guy is never going to be held honestly accountable to
the student standard of conduct;

even though he is the senior most administrative
role model
of the student standard of conduct.

He is never going to be held honestly accountable to
any standard of conduct at all, not even the law.

Just like Paula Maes, Modrall,
and the rest of the good ol' boys
in the leadership of the APS.

Knothing from Knipfing, yet.

In response to my allegation that he told a lie. link

Nothing from the Thomas J Lang, yet,
in response to my allegation that he did the same. link

I wish that I could draw like Trevor

I would draw an elephant with APS Character Counts Gate
written on its side; its face is that of Paula Maes.

An average Joe is standing very close to the elephant.

In fact,
he is standing so close that the elephant's tail
is draped snuggly across stakeholder Joe's head
front to back.

The caption would read;

If you really can not see the elephant;
can't you at least smell her farts?